It’s that time of year. Everyone is coming out with top five lists, top ten lists, top this and top that lists. I’ve decided that Portland Beer and Music needs a few. Five to be exact, cause it seems to be the currently trending value. Five top fives. Has a nice ring, no? In no particular order, here they are:
Top Five Surprises on Brewpublic’s ‘The People’s Top 5 of 2011’
5. Gerritt Ill named Upright Kopstootje one of his top five beers of the year.
4. Jacob Leonard named Widmer Brothers Citra Blonde one of his top five beers of the year.
3. JT Thompson named Portsmouth’s American Mild one of his top five beers of the year.
2. Joe Jasper named Watershed IPA, Overcast Espresso Stout, AND Ill-Tempered Gnome three of his top five beers of the year.
1. I wasn’t on it!
Top Five Silly Comments Relating to our ‘Women Only’ Article
5. “Greek only beer tasting! This Friday - No Turks or Albanians Allowed!!” – Theo Skourtis
4. “I will just be depressed. Not because I can't go, but because I look ridiculous in a dress.” –Roy
3. “THE PORTLAND BEER BURKA!” –Anonymous
2. “This article is not about me last I checked” –Ezra Johnson-Greenough
1. “If only you all knew how cool it was to have a 1hour convo witha girlfriend on the Phine (sic) about homebrewing. It's rad!” –Anonymous
Top Five Crazy WTF Satori Nominations on Beervana
5. Hair of the Dog Little Dogs – With the exception of Matt, these have been a hoppy, muddled mess. Nice try, but Party Gyle brewing requires a string of happy accidents to be good- not just a wheelbarrow full of Cascades.
4. New Belgium Clutch – I drank some infected homebrewed imperial stout once. Guess what it tasted like? Yep. Also, good job reading the part that said ‘Oregon brewed’.
3. Fort George 1811 Lager – Attention people! This is not a lager! Maybe it’s the fact that you keep referring to it as such that irritates me so.
2. Firestone Walker XV – If Satori is Swahili for diabetes-inducing, then I agree. Also, see #4.
1. Logsdon Seizoen Bretta – I understand you’re excited about a mythical farm with special cherries and mutant animals that produces beer from the best, most uberrare yeasties EVAR. Fact is, the beer is just OK. Logsdon needs time before their beers are at the award-winning level (yes, Kili Wit, I’m talking about you, too)
Top Five Oregon Beers of 2011 (Jim-Style)
5. Breakside Pumpkin Biere de Garde – Pumpkin flesh actually gives this beer flavor, not a crapload of spices. It’s also a bang-up Belgian beer that avoids the estery mess of many low-abv fancy Euro-ales.
4. Deschutes Aphrodite Stout – For those lucky enough to try this beer, it gave Abyss-haters the imperial stout that we always knew Deschutes could serve up. Dark fruit and a touch of sweetness accent a big, bold stout with mild roast and layers of dark chocolate.
3. Laurelwood Cardinal Sin – It was like tasting Three Philosophers for the first time all over again. Too bad the bottle is so friggin’ expensive.
2. Boneyard Hop Venom – What everyone else said. Oregon is finally churning out some world class IPA’s thanks to the gearheads in Bend.
1. Burnside Brewing Sweet Heat – The beer that started out as Calypso Wheat at Roots Brewing has blossomed in to a sessionable, balanced, and clean fruit-forward wheat beer with character. Flavorful and layered with infinite drinkability. A big nod also for the imperial version featured at The Hop & Vine’s Fire and Brimstone festival with smoked chiles.
Five Baseless Predictions for 2012
5. Cam O’Connor will leave Deschutes to replace Christian Ettinger who will leave HUB to replace Ron Gansberg who will leave Cascade to replace Alan Sprints who will leave Hair of the Dog to start a micro-nano called Humongous Brewing in his own basement.
4. Shawn Kelso’s hop extract farm will become the next Logsdon’s.
3. Portland U-Brew will rebrand themselves as Portland We-Brew; you will pay them money and they will brew beer for you while you watch. There will be bleachers and free popcorn provided.
2. Breakside will release ten new collaboration beers brewed with the cooks from the top ten taco trucks in Gresham. The first should be a Mexican golden lager with cilantro and Serrano peppers.
1. The next Upright beer label will have the biggest boobs of them all!
Hope you all have a Happy New Year and a great start to 2012! Did I miss anything?
All images taken by Jim Bonomo, except the ‘Boobs and Beer’ pic, which was taken by Robby Virus. Thanks, Robby!